Mindless Mike Moved

We can only imagine why the management of the Denver Post decided to ask Mike Klis to stop writing about baseball.

Was it because they were tired of hearing so many complaints about the extreme low literary quality and endless repetition of the same hackneyed and preposterous ideas, coupled with the boring, inaccurate and inarticulate coverage of baseball events?

Was it because of pressure from the Rockies and Major League Baseball, who should have been getting tired of his constant irrational attacks on the game and how it is played in his own hometown?

More likely, the management at the Post is as clueless as Klis and they moved him over to Broncos coverage because there was an opening. Judging by the spelling and grammatical errors in the Post, nobody is reading anything before printing it, so they probably have no idea what a bad writer Klis is. Nor do they care.

So, don't be surprised if you start reading that the Broncos are losing because:

  • The footballs are not being stored in a humidifier.
  • Winning football can never be played at this altitude.
  • Defense can't be played here because the field is too "spacious".  (Observer's note: It has long been one of Klis' contentions that the outfield in Denver is larger than the outfield at other Major League parks, thus making it easier for hitters to hit balls out of the reach of fielders. There is absolutely no factual basis for this assertion; Coors field is smaller than some parks and larger than others, but not abnormal by any stretch of the imagination. Since NFL football fields are all exactly the same size, it is going to be a more difficult sell, but we're sure he will try it, nonetheless.
  • You can't blame the manager for the team's lack of success, because of one extremely obscure example, in this case Joe Torre of the Yankees. He will certainly come up with an equally obscure football example.
  • You can't blame the owner because in a few, very rare cases bad owners accidentally win. His example is Peter Loria of the Florida Marlins who won the World Series in 2003. He fails to mention that the odds of a bad owner like Loria ever winning are astronomical, and that the opposite is normally the case.
  • The Broncos need to practice in Hyperbolic chambers in order to win road games.

Maybe Klis will come up with some new reasons for why the Broncos can't win, but don't bet on it - in his career of covering the Rockies he sang the same tune with hardly ever a variance.

We expect the Post to get another writer to cover baseball in Klis' place, and we welcome him or her. It will be easy for them in that they won't have the pressure of having to live up to reputation of following a competent reporter.

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