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Lame Quote of the Day: 5/23/2007 "There is about the local fan the sense that bad baseball is better than no baseball." Bernie "Lame-O" Lincicome on the Scripps website, probably because he didn't have the guts to put it in the Rocky Mountain News. Denver baseball fans are far better than that, but the Rocky Mountain News and the other media in town, obviously feel that bad writing is better than no writing, as they prove by continuing to employ people like Bernie and Kiszla, and Renck, etc., etc. - Ed. More lame quotes...
W-L: 2007: 43-43  2006: 76-86  2005: 67-95  2004: 68-94  1993: 67-95 
Home Attendance 2006/2005/2004: 2,104,558/1,914,677/2,235,635 -20.1%

Rockies and Phillies - Twins Separated at Birth?

July 6, 2007. The Rockies may have finally found a manager worse than Clint Hurdle, and his name is Charlie Manuel of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Picture this situation in last night's game:

It's the bottom of the ninth with the Phillies leading 6-5, and the first hitter due up is left handed Todd Helton.

Manuel counters with left-handed reliever J.C. Romero, who easily retires Helton.

The next batter is right-hand-hitting Garrett Atkins, followed by lefty Brad Hawpe. Since Romero is the Phillies only remaining lefty reliever, everyone, including the usually stone-headed announcers, figured he would stay in the game.

Everyone except Manual, that is.

He brought in right-handed Antonio Alfonseca, who had no trouble retiring Atkins, but then threw a big fat gopher ball down the middle of the plate, about belt-high, on a 1-2 count!

The result was a homerun to the deepest part of center field.

It was Alfonseca's third blown save in nine chances. On the Atlanta Braves, if a pitcher threw a fat pitch in the strike zone with two strikes and less than three balls, he would be removed from the game and sent packing afterward by manager Bobby Cox.  Wait a minute, Alfonseca did, and he was!

Alfonseca should never have been in the game, much less against a left-handed hitter. In fact, he shouldn't be in the Major Leagues, and certainly not on the Phillies. The fact that he is in the League and on the Phils is another indication of the lack of brainpower on the Philadelphia bench and front office. Guys like Alfonseca and especially Jose Mesa should be taking their great grandkids to ballgames, not losing games for the Phillies.

Is the talent pool so shallow that we have to watch guys like these pitch?

Nonetheless, the Rockies and Phillies are eerily similar, beyond the fact that they are both 43 and 43 on the season. Both teams have tremendous offenses and play in new stadiums which have had reputations as being homer-friendly, though Molsen Canadian Field not so much lately.

Both teams have tremendous young left-handed aces, with the Phil's Cole Hamels the potential starter in the All Star Game and Jeff Frances at 8-5 with a 3.87 ERA.

The Phils have a faster, stronger fielding outfield, but the Rockies have the edge in relief pitching, not withstanding the recent meltdown of their closer Brian "Tito" Fuentes.

Both teams have superstar first basemen, though the Phils have the edge down the middle, and Colorado's Atkins gives a more consistent plate attack then the Phillies' platoon at third.

Both teams have journeymen and rookies taking turns at catcher.

The two teams are both in tough divisions and will have to do better than .500 to even sniff the playoffs.

Rockies Win at Home Over Team Not From New York!

July 6, 2007. An epic battle tired mediocre teams seeing who cares less...

Bernie Lincicome Slams Denver Fans Again

May 23, 2007. In an article entitled "Denver Fans Simply Too Grateful" on the Scripps website, BL impugns the intelligence and sincerity of every baseball fan in Denver when he says "they deserve what they will stand for. And around here, showing up is good enough."

Lincicome has no respect for Baseball, as he shows every time he shows up at Coors Field with his 12 Gallon hat and high heeled cowboy boots and tromps around on the field, trashing the soft grass and earth around home plate, oblivious to the anguished moans of the ground crew. He also has no respect for the English language, as he hacks blindly at whatever point he is trying to make, setting the world's record for ending sentences with prepositions. But worst of all, he has no powers of observation, which is usually pretty important to a reporter. Because if ol' Bern would look around himself some day at the ballpark, he might notice that he's practically alone. If he checked the ratings of the Rockies broadcasts, and any talk shows foolish enough to use the Colorado Baseball Club as a subject, he would find that nobody is watching or listening, either.

Yes, Bernie, the fans are much smarter than you think or are, for they have gone on to richer pastures and pastimes. They are rooting for other teams, or other sports, or maybe just taking advantage of the bounty of engaging properties of this, the most beautiful state of them all. Why worry about the greedy morons who are running the baseball team into the ground for their own amusement? For that matter, why worry about idiots like Bernie Lincicome who's only reason for wanting the team to gain respectability is because his fortunes will rise. Maybe he should think about another team, in another state.

You Heard It Here - Rockies to Play Angels in the World Series!

April 1, 2007. Remember the Montreal Expos in 1981? For years they had been patiently grooming their farm system to produce a steady stream of top notch talent, only to lose them to free agency due to their limited budget. But in one glorious year, the Expos got the right combination of cheap veterans and young talent together and were headed for the best record in baseball and a great shot at the World Series. Then came the strike, but that's another story. Nobody predicted that Montreal would be that good, much like nobody in the mainstream media is predicting great things for the Colorado Rockies this year.

But they are all wrong this time. Even with the worst ownership, General Manager, and field manager in Baseball, the "Meat Brothers" Monfort, Dealin' Dan O'Dowd, and Clint "Rube" Hurdle respectively, the stars or whatever are aligned and the Rockies will have their hundred year high water point in 2007. The Baseball Observer is predicting the Rockies will win 93 games and win the Division by at least 5 games. Not only that, but they will cruise through the playoffs and take the Angels to 6 games before losing.

The biggest reason for their success, ironically, will be the propagation throughout the league of their ridiculous humidifier. As other teams will discover, using the humidifier has the main effect of negating home field advantage. Pitching is enhanced and hitting is depressed. Hitters can't get used to hitting the heavy, cold, wet balls. But the Rockies have been using it for years, and thus will have a short window of tremendous advantage.  2007 is the Rockies' year. If they can't do it now, it may take them longer than the Cubs. Except they don't have the luxury of rabid fans who will fill the stadium every day. That ship has sailed in Colorado. If they don't win soon, they will be gone, either disbanded or moved to another city. Thanks, Monforts.

Anyway, the Baseball Observer is tired of picking the Rockies to finish last, as everyone else is again this year. Every dog has his day, so let's hope this is the Rockies'. If not, well it is April 1st.

Let Us Introduce You to Troy E. Renck, World's Worst Baseball Reporter

April 1, 2007. It's Opening Day and Troy E. (the "E" stands for "exasperating") Renck trots out his preseason picks and pap about the new season in the Denver Post. Strangely, Troy's get worse every year, probably the disillusionment starting to sink in along with the realization that this is it for him, the apogee of a career at a third rate paper following a team that views itself as a "small market" institution. Cheer up, Mr. Renck, your counterpart at the other rag in town, Tracy Ringolsby at the Rocky Mountain News, was actually inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame last year, and he is every bit as lame as you are! And he knows almost as little about baseball as you do.

Anyway, back to the subject of Renck's predictions for the coming season. First, he seems to be predicting that the Phillies will win the East division in the National League. Then again, maybe not, in his own words: "Howard gets pitches to hit as Burrell revives his career..." and then "There's no way he (Howard) reaches 58 home runs this year unless Philadelphia upgrades from Pat Burrell as the primary protection behind him." Which is it, Troy?

Troy picks the Rockies to finish dead last in their division, while waxing poetic about the greatness of their pitching, hitting, management, etc. He also peppers his commentary with gems like: "you would think the NL West was to baseball what Sandra Bullock is to time travel films." Troy is to sports writing what Jack Black is to acting.

What Other Sites Are Saying About Colorado

April 8, 2007.

Halos Heaven

Colorado Rockies (3-2): They'll probably stay productive for a while, then crash and burn before settling down into last place all over again. Holliday and Atkins can hit, but so can anyone in Colorado. Ask their poor pitching staff, they know that pretty well. It's gonna be another wasted year in the thin air.

March 31, 2007.

True Blue LA

"For the first time in years, things are looking up for the Rockies."
MVN: That's Our Fifth Starter, Folks...
"...Fogg chipped in with two RBI doubles. Perhaps he is being kept on the roster as the primary pinch hitter and Ryan Spilborghs, John Mabry, and Alexis Gomez are secretly competing for the fifth starter spot. Knowing Clint Hurdle and his sometimes random decisions, I wouldn’t be surprised. "

"Colorado finally has a plan, and it’s sticking to it. Still nothing more than a last place team, at least the Rockies are developing young talent and looking toward the future. "

Sport Table
"Mile high hopes. The Colorado Rockies enter the 2007 season with a bunch of young talent in a division filled with a bunch of weak teams. The Rockies will look to parlay that into contention for the division title and hopefully a trip to the playoffs. As usual, there is no pitching talent to be found here, so they will have to rely upon their offense and some luck."

Sports Network

"All three players acquired in the Jennings deal - centerfielder Willy Taveras, starter Jason Hirsch, and reliever Taylor Buchholz - will all have a big part on the 2007 Rockies, so I guess we will wait and see. One thing is for sure, though, fans in Colorado are growing impatient and if this move does not pan out, O'Dowd could find himself unemployed at season's end. "

Purple Row/Rox Girl
I don't believe we actually have the best chance of winning the division. We might not even have the second best chance. It will take some luck and a somewhat spectacular Ubaldo Jimenez to get to that 89 win total. I'm just saying that we've got a chance in this thing, and it's a pretty solid chance given our lineup. So since seemingly no other rational person was giving us the love we deserve, I'm here. Yeah, call me a cheerleader or whatever, but Your 2007 NL West division winners: the Colorado Rockies.

Cheating Rockies?

March 25, 2007. Well, if cheaters never prosper, that might explain a lot about the Rockies lately. According to Fox Sports, former Rockies players told management of the Arizona Diamondbacks that Colorado coach Walt Wiess was in uniform on the bench the last five years for the sole purpose of stealing signs from the opposing team's bench. But Arizona is apparently getting the last laugh because the Rockies have been informed by the league that they will be fined $10,000 every time Weiss or fellow coach Vinny Castilla appears in uniform in the dugout. The National League office has reportedly confirmed that the action was taken in response to a complaint from a Western Division team. Now they'll have to go back to stationing someone in the scoreboard with binoculars.

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Edited by Gregory F. Hill

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